When Nothing Feels Like Everything
- Anastasia K
- Jul 21, 2025
- 6 min read
During high school, many teens encounter burnout, often caused by a demanding schedule at school in addition to obligations and pressures at home. It looks like the ideal cupcake. But, under all of the sprinkles, foresting, and decoration, it's burnt on the bottom, which is a silent warning of too much heat. What most people do not talk about is that exhaustion can not be fixed using a simple good night sleep, or a nice evening meal. There’s a moment when exhaustion becomes something more profound. The thoughts stop flowing. Emotions also appear to switch off. It seems as though all of the circuits in your brain have burned out at once, leaving it completely dark. As the lights dim, the voice, once so vocal, becomes silent. In the 21st century, silence has become an epidemic.
During times like these, during darkness, it is not always easy to turn on the light. Sometimes, turning on the light does not include a light switch, but, requires reflection, rest, and patience.
Abby, a high school student, shared her story with me. A story that many others are not able to tell. A story that many share together.
"I had been battling depression for years leading up to my breaking point. It had never been too much of an issue for me, I had times where I felt empty and alone but nothing too serious in the years leading up. During those few years I tried keeping all of my feelings a secret, I hated sharing my thoughts with others and it ultimately made me uncomfortable. But all of those feelings kept building up inside of me without my knowledge. I had thought I buried them away until they all finally came up my freshman year of High School.
I was in a lot of activities my first year of high school. I did Marching Band, Symphonic Band, Girls Varsity Bowling, Key Club, Student Council, DECA, Interact Club, and took private lessons for band, all while working a part time job as a waitress. I felt like I could do it all, and felt accomplished. There was nothing holding me back, everything I did I felt like I was on a high being the best. There was never a dull moment and I didn’t realize I was burning out until I was actually in it.
During the month of December was when I first started to notice the signs. I barely went to school, had my mom call me out almost every other day, or I just left and went home without her knowing. I felt like I couldn’t handle it anymore, that school was becoming too much for me. But in reality it was the fact that I was overworking myself. During this month was the start of Bowling season, in order to go to practice and to meet you had to go for at least half of the school day to be eligible to bowl. So that’s what I did. I only went for half the day a majority of the time.
Bowling was my life, I have been doing it since the age of 5 but really started getting into competition at the age of 8. I have always dreamed of going to college for it and then going into the PWBA after college. So it was the only reason why I still attended school on most days, it was my passion. My grades never slipped during my freshman year, I held up my 4.0 gpa. Which caused another reason for me to skip school, because I felt like I wasn’t learning anything. All my classes felt easy and I passed every test with no problem.
During the Month of February was my actual breaking point. I remember sitting in the band hallway one day and just staring at the wall. The band hallway at my school was always a safe place for everyone in band. It was just a long hallway and the directors offices were also there if you needed to talk to them. But everyone would go here in the mornings, during passing time, free periods, and after school to just talk to friends or do homework. For me, it was a place to escape from reality. I could sit there and just stare at the wall while music played in another room, echoing through the hall. But it was this one day, where I stared at the wall for almost an hour until someone came to talk to me. All I could think of was absolutely nothing.
My mind felt empty, blank, fried, like a void that needed to be filled. That same day I went home and laid in bed, and continued to stare at the wall. Not thinking about anything, just staring until I fell asleep. This cycle continued for that whole month. I felt even more alone than ever before. My sister and parents started to worry for me, with how I was never at school and barely talking. It’s hard to explain the actual feelings I felt during this time, but the only word that can describe how my brain felt was fried. It felt like it had nothing in it anymore and was exhausted.
There are times where I catch myself falling back into these patterns but now that I know, and my family also knows the signs, we are able to stop it. Mental Health is a daily battle and never truly goes away. Everyone, at some point in their life will battle something small or huge. For me it happened at a young age. Not everyone will go through the same thing. Even though I was able to keep my grades up and seem like I was fine, I was also able to hide every emotion inside of me without anyone knowing til I broke."
-Abby, July 2025
Abby's story demonstrates how, even when everything seems to be going well on the surface, burnout and mental health issues can develop covertly. Her experience serves as a reminder that these issues are genuine, real, and deserving of care. By sharing her story, Abby assists in eliminating the stigma associated with mental health and demonstrates that no one is alone in their challenges. It takes bravery to talk about such intimate struggles. Stories like Abby's encourage us to look for comprehension, support, and resilience in the midst of hardship as we continue to investigate how our minds respond to strain and stress.
As Abby turned on her light, a room of people going through the same feelings got brighter, and the switch is more visible.
Feelings can be hard to untangle, particularly during high school when life feels like it’s moving too fast to catch your breath. The word "why" begins to weigh more heavily than anything else during those times. Why am I feeling this way? Why am I unable to concentrate? Why does fear feel like pressure? These were more than simply idle questions to me. We all have to confront these silent conflicts head-on.
One feels Drained
Why:One would be overwhelmed by the constant pressure of balancing school, activities, and work, sometimes, prioritising others than caring about oneself.
The neurology behind it:
Chronic stress causes the HPA axis in the brain to become hyperactive, generating cortisol that drains energy and slows healing, ultimately resulting in fatigue.
One feels Hollow
Why:Emotions feel distant while doing many activities.
The neurology behind it:
Prolonged stress affects the prefrontal cortex's ability to regulate emotion, leading to feelings of emptiness or isolation.
One feels Paralysed
Why: Being trapped in feelings
The neurology behind it:
Amygdala activation in response to fear and stress can cause a freeze or shutdown response.
One feels Muted
Why: It was hard to express emotions to others.
The neurology behind it:
Self-awareness and emotional expression are restricted during depression due to decreased activity in the insula and anterior cingulate cortex.
One feels Fried
Why: The mind felt overloaded, making processing difficult.
The neurology behind it:
Prolonged stress impairs memory, concentration, and cognitive function by harming neurones in the prefrontal cortex and hippocampus.
One feels Alone
Why:Even though surrounded by people, isolation is a feeling due to misunderstood struggle.
The neurology behind it:
Like physical pain, social pain causes the anterior cingulate cortex to become active, which results in a strong feeling of isolation.
Remember that you are not alone if you or someone you know is experiencing similar emotions. It is a show of strength to ask for help, and better times are ahead.
Please call 988, the U.S. Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
Please speak to a school mental health official (if applicable)
Please know that you matter, are loved, and valued.
Keep in mind that mental and physical health are equally important, and nobody should have to deal with these issues alone. We can all learn from Abby's story that asking for assistance is a show of strength rather than weakness. By working together, we can build welcoming communities where everyone is respected, heard, and seen.
Best,
-Anastasia K
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